Recalling memories

Hey you, yah...You. Can you remember what we did in our class ten? Let’s try together.

Class ten was nothing but a big version of class nine. With time, we just cling together more and more. We spent as much time we could be in our school and in the coaching centre. Did I call you then on you TNT phone? No, I don’t think it started then, it’s after our S.S.C. I was in science and so I used to have practical classes. One day, after finishing my one of the practical classes, I found a small letter (!) of you; you gave it to someone to give me. Only one sentence was there ‘have waited a long time for you, but you practical class seems no end’.  You made my that day! Girl, you liked me then, didn’t you? But, you did hate one thing very much, remember! In the break, I used to pull and push you to meet me, at fourth floor; floor for the kids of class 1-5. You protested saying, ‘If you want to be with me, you have to do it in front of everyone, not hiding’. Oh! Girl, I admit, though everybody knew we glued well, I was really afraid of some silly cat fighting (though I know you would never do that. You would just give a look at me and depending on my actions, you would decide). I hardly had enough guts then. But, such inflexible positive attitudes of you really took me.

Anything more??? We came to know about our families. Interestingly, we both lied to a portion. And, one day you gifted me a book! It was Shahriar Kabir’s ‘Hanabarir Rahasso’. You used to do things adding bit glamour; you told me that “it’s our family trend. If we acknowledge someone as our friend, we gift him/her a book”. I was like, Wow, what a great tradition! Anyway, I became very shy and later cursed myself why I didn’t do it earlier. I (actually we, me and my siblings) had a very nice pencil box in our house. It was from outside, actually a couple, one was taken by one of my sister and this was waiting for someone to use. I silently took it from Almirah and gifted it to her. So, my first gift was a stolen pencil box! What can I do, I really haven’t had enough money to buy one, honesty and that box was never mentioned in our house. So, it was OK. However, the box was really nice and after a long time, I understood, she did the same thing (though I never asked her), took one new book from their bookshelf and gifted me… ;)

Life…Power me…

5 years back one day suddenly it came into my mind that no more songs can be produced! There are already hundreds and thousands of songs, some of them are ever green, how new music or lyrics can born! I mean, nothing should be left by now. However, still new songs are forming with extraordinary lyrics and music. It seems that, this will continue till the last day this world.

And, so about the movies. What else is left that the writer can write, nothing. But, again, I am wrong. Writers will never fall back finding stories. Every single life story is a special one. Every single, even of that guard who guards all the day round and simply sleeps after returning home. There is something in every story which may remain unnoticed to specify it’s as a dull one; but actually it’s interesting enough to glue the audience. There are 7 billion fascinating stories in the world now, unbelievable! Yes, we may stratify the stories according to their similarity, but within the strata the variability should be quite high. If I describe my own story in five sentences, it’s boring! Completely rubbish and bullshit. If I write it (as I am a horrible writer), again, it won’t grab a single reader. But, I know what it actually is. The feelings, emotions, realizations, motivations; even I am unable to express themselves exactly, are special to me. I just know it’s a journey, learning in every phase in different bend of roads (situations), different weathers (disaster or happiness) and through different transports (feelings). Even, the persons related with me, who hurt me or whom I hurt, have their own special stories! LIFE, is such a mysterious journey…Baby, I won’t let you play with me any more by doing things foolishly, it’s time I’ll unfold the mystery, will make this journey according to my will and choose the destiny by myself. But, so far, what you have given… a good lesson, and I know, how much may I try to shape it or I will, still, you will show your power. Dear life, show your power to power me…

Conscious but lost…

We promoted to class ten. As usual, I did a brilliant result, took my position higher than before. Can’t remember what her position was. Our sections remained different. By that time, we acknowledged our friendship. We used to sit together, chat together. Sometimes, she didn’t go on her van, rather, we walked together to her way of home and I normally returned from a certain place. I liked her very very much, the feeling was extremely strong. But, being a practical boy, I didn’t destroy my academic life. My study was in its place, intact and progressive. My life was as usual with a firm presence of that girl everywhere. Therefore, actually it wasn’t as usual…

This is the time; I wrote her the first letter. I can remember, the letter was absolutely kiddies. It was about how much I like her but in funny languages. She did take it and just put it in her bag. The next day she gave me another in return. I can clearly recall her one was on a page of a diary. One line of the letter was ‘You wrote this letter three times, and, thus I also read it three times. And I am burning in anger reading it’. Yes, it was not a proposal (at least directly) or neither had she accepted (again, directly).  Probably, she didn’t scroll me that much because I was quite a close friend of her. Then, she pointed out my spelling mistakes and so did I. And, both of our first letters were washed away by our laughter. 

So, what about the other girls who had a crush on me or I used to flattered on! Yes, I starting avoiding them or in other word, started spending more time with the beloved one. My inclination to this girl was clearly visible and thus those girls started hating her. They hated her not only because I was with her but also as she was getting concentration of a good student. Now I know, some of your classmates want to keep good friendship with the good students. And my girl, seemed to have no knowledge about all these practical things…

Started drowning…

I was a good student. I did manage all the subjects alone but mathematics in class 9. Taking private tuition was very common by that time. However, my family wasn’t wealthy enough to support my two/three tutors cost. Therefore, I enrolled myself in a coaching centre as this was the cheapest mode of taking some care at that time. The math teacher was awesome and only for him that coaching centre run. So, my purpose served.

The girl… I used to see her on breaks. She was confused where to take tuition. I suggested joining my one. Of course, she wasn’t convinced. But, you know, path opens automatically. Her best friend (till then) joined the coaching and thus, she did.

Now, I could observe her quite closely. She didn’t have too many friends, was a bit silent type and used to come and go on a van. Sometimes, her aunt also came to pick her up. Her best friend didn’t seem to me the best one; very often I saw the other girl hanging with others. May be, her loneliness provided me an opportunity to talk to her (of course, I was an opportunity seeker). I came to know about herself, her family. The approach and process was very friendly, casual and comfortable. That’s why she was easy to talk to me, I guess. We started sitting in the same bench. Everything of her impressed me but I am sure it was not infatuation.  Her personality, her thoughts, her dignified attitudes; I became a big fan of her. You may notice, I’m mentioning her personality and sense of dignity every time, because there was a feeling inside me that I lack these two qualities. She started mentoring me, immediately I accept it. She was like shaping me…I strongly felt something inside me, must be more than friendship but she never, ever expresses a single thing that could take me one step forward. Overwhelmed friendship but nothing more. Oh God!!! I clearly knew, I was sinking…